Sunday, August 10, 2008

The Path of Nature is Strewn With No Garlic

Dissolve back in time to March 1, 2008. This is how the search began.

First I went to see the naturopath. My acupuncturist had been gently suggesting this for some time, since the rash/hives from hell have now lasted a year and a half, and the dermatologist won't refill my cortisone and nothing else works on it and yes, I know that cortisone only suppresses the symptoms but I sure as hell want them suppressed. So I went to the naturopath. He's in Beverly Hills, though not right next door to the Clampetts.

He had me hold this rod hooked up to a machine and he pressed another lead from the machine against an acupressure point on my finger watching hundreds of different readings on his computer while he asked me what I ate and how happy/stressed/anxious I was. (9/5/7)

Results are that internally I'm a mess. My liver is sad and so is my gall bladder. My heart (emotion-wise) is sad, too. Many of my readings are very low and it's time to fix me. So for openers I'm on a restricted diet. No nuts, no peanut oil, no pork, no sugar, no gluten, nothing spicy, no garlic. The good news: I can have one glass of wine a day. The bad news: no garlic! Only one glass of wine! No pasta! To my tremendous relief, he did not cut my fruit lifeline, so as soon as I figure out what to make for dinner each night (the homemade pizza I had planned for tonight is off) I'll be okay.

He also wants me to go see a breathing guy, who's a clairaudient, or psychic. And we've eliminated most of my supplements. I'm not sure how I'll while away the mornings.

Oh yeah. Insurance doesn't pay for him. (There's a surprise...)

Next time I'm supposed to being ALL the supplements I take and he'll run them through the electrical thingie with me attached, too.

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