The Clairaudient is Listening

March 3.

The adventure continues.

Why am I going to a naturopath who has put me at death's door? I am going to him because my acupuncturist, who is fabulous and who I have been with for many years, thinks he is an uncanny diagnostician. And much of what he said makes sense. Things are not functioning in my body and instead of manifesting themselves in something really dreadful, they've been giving me an annoying case of hives. We go after the cause and one of these days these friggin' hives will go away. He also assures me I'll have more vitality and life force, more energy, higher metabolism, and other good things. These all sound very tempting. I do, however, continue to heed the little voice in my head that whispers "scientology..."

And what harm will it do me to cut down to one glass of wine a day? I'll lose a ton of weight and, truthfully, I was drinking too much.

Give up glutens for 2-1/2 weeks to see if I feel better? Worth a shot.

No nuts, no sweets, no sugar, no caffeine... No problem.

No pork. Who cares?

It is a problem, though, trying to cook a decent meal without onions and garlic. Tonight I sauteed the crap out of them and put them into my white Tuscan bean soup.

Then there's the breathing healer. He gave me the phone number with instructions to see him in 10-14 days, so that when I return we can see if I am unburdened of the deep sorrow that grips my heart. (Okay, he didn't say it that dramatically.) I looked him up online, where he is listed as a clairaudient. Are those wind chimes I hear? Is this the time to run screaming from the room?

On the other hand: do I have stuff left over from earlier traumas? No doubt, despite the zillion dollars of therapy. So if I can breathe that out, why not?

Unfortunately something in the combination of things I'm no longer taking left me wide awake all night. I slept maybe an hour. So I am deadassed tired, a total zombie. I managed to cook soup and I'm simmering artichokes. If I can watch a movie is anyone's guess. Maybe I should ask the clairaudient.